Chapter 1 (rated PG for bad language) -Sample- (This'll make you laugh your head off)
If you wanted me to marry Liz Gily, you're an idiotic madman. I have no wish to marry... but I'm going to marry her stupid hide TOMORROW! Scary, huh? Its not scary its horrifying... I mean who wants to marry somebody who has a face like a pig and a snout like cow's and a butt like a bird. Scary again, huh? Okay my blabbering is probably getting on your nerves now so lets get the real story (its a horrible story of how I was forced to get engaged to her):
Once upon a time (really lame start, huh?) there was a man named Calabrose (my fat old dad) and he had son (ME!) Calabrose was a-KING and I was a-PRINCE. My name is Cappy Pappy (lame name, huh?) well dad knew I hated Liz Gily and he said, "Son, give this engagment ring to Liz Gily!"
"What the stupid heck would I do that!" I cried.
"GO!"
I ran to Liz's house and she said (after I gave her the ring and called her a stupid punk) "Oh Cappy! I love you!" And the wedding the next day was tremoundous and when I was supposed to kiss her I spanked her hard on the butt but she was already gone. I had spanked nothing.